Reflections on our birthing classes at Body, Mind & Spirit
Lisa Keck
As first time expecting parents, my husband and I started our classes with Erika Harding feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all we didn’t know about what we didn’t know about the birthing experience. Furthermore, while I was committed to the idea of having a natural childbirth, I also recognized I was mostly paying lip service to the idea, for at the time I did not have the necessary confidence in myself to know I could have my baby without any interventions. Fortunately, the progression of classes seemed to perfectly match my emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual development as a pregnant woman and when the time came on January 10, 2003, I could not have felt better prepared to bring our baby boy into the world.
The most important lesson I learned through the classes regarded the importance of trust: trusting one’s self, one’s partner, as well as the natural process of giving birth that women throughout time and all over the world are able to connect with. Building such a profound level of trust must take place on both an intellectual and spiritual level. The classes at Body, Mind and Spirit encouraged the development of both. The movies and discussions provided factual information so that I knew what to expect in terms of hospital protocols, possible interventions, stages of delivery, etc. More importantly however, the spiritual side of birthing was also honored through artwork and various opportunities to connect with my husband. Understanding my birthing experience through metaphoric images was invaluable in really helping me understand my fears as well as recognizing the incredible strength I have as a woman that I can tap into when necessary. Erika was an excellent facilitator in creating this balance between the intellect and the spirit as she could not only answer the factual questions we had, but she could also challenge our assumptions and beliefs by asking us questions that encouraged honest and thoughtful reflection. I believe our car rides home and the time spent talking after each class were possibly even more valuable than time spent in class, for we were always presented with so much about which we could think and feel.
I do not think it is possible to ever really explain to anyone what the experience of giving birth is like, especially because the experience must be so different for every woman and for every birth. As a result, I believe sharing a philosophy about birthing that is beyond the mainstream perception of birth, that focuses on all of the options available to women is the best approach a child-birthing class can take. This way, when the incredible day arrives, you know what you can do, rather than simply what you have to do. My husband and I had a peaceful, natural birthing experience. We felt calm, confident, and strong throughout the entire process and I give much credit to our classes with Erika at Body, Mind and Spirit. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to participate in such a beautiful journey.
Childbirth Class Experience
Michael Rosenblatt
When I found out that my wife Anne and I were pregnant last August with a healthy baby boy I was ecstatic. It had been kind of a rough road to get there. Now that I was here, I wished to be present in my body, mind, and spirit during this joyous 9 months.
As a physician, I have had the blessed opportunity to take care of many pregnant women, and be in on many deliveries. It was now my chance to be on the other side. As a caring husband, and as a father.
Sharing in the pregnancy and childbirth experience for me meant looking for someone who could help guide me. Someone I could trust. I feel so blessed to have had the chance to work with Erika Harding and the other couples in her Body, Mind, and Spirit classes. It helped to make this pregnancy special.
Erika was enigmatic, engaging, and so very caring. I could let go and just be present. To let my heart take me wherever it was meant to go. Trusting in Erika’s guidance and care. I did, and the voyage Erika helped me with was marvelous. I looked forward to each of our classes, and walked out feeling more connected with Anne, and the little boy inside of her.
We are close to delivery as I write this, and last night I reviewed the pictures we had drawn, the exercises we had done, and the closing ceremony Erika led us through. I feel ready to go into this birth experience with centeredness and trust, and know that a part of Erika will be there in spirit to help guide us.
Thank you Erika for all your help. And, for all the other future men in the world that you are able to help in their voyage in becoming fathers.
Other Stories
Occasionally in our classes, there is someone (usually a father) who is not particularly happy to be there. They often have expectations that birthing classes will be dry and boring, or perhaps they fear that our classes in particular are going to be too “weird” or “alternative” for the average expectant parent. In almost every case, this reluctant participant is enjoying the class by the second meeting, and laughing and asking questions and really getting into it. The letter below is an example of one such initially reluctant father, who become one of our Doula clients and an enthusiastic advocate.
“My sole desire in the world is to have a healthy and happy baby and wife! The prospect of driving 6 times in as many weeks to Albuquerque seemed to be the classic compromise sacrifice. Now that I have completed the Body, Mind & Spirit class, I know I got the best deal in New Mexico! I actually looked forward to the weekly stop in my schedule to REALLY be with my wife and baby. Every class taught me something about myself and my wife. I got to meet other expectant moms and dads in a casual, relaxed environment. I did not fully appreciate the accommodations until our alternative class at the hospital began. We did not complete those classes!
I firmly recommend this single instrument for every expectant father and mother. This class above all or other searches for parental knowledge was the most useful and enjoyable. The mileage, time and money are temporary barriers to a lifelong memory of the lessons and friendships found in your class. Keep up the good work!” - Kenneth Buckland (class participant, doula client)
“Dear Erika,
Brian and I wanted to thank you for a great birthing class. We felt like we learned SO MUCH. Thank you also for your ongoing doula help leading up to our little boy’s birthday! Labor without epidurals is fun! You have a great job - what you do is so important. Thanks again” - Daniela Byers (class participant, doula client)
“Dear Erika,
Thanks so much for all your support and teaching over this past year. We are so fortunate to have found Body, Mind & Spirit - from all the pregnancy classes, workshops, doula care, postpartum nursing teas - I couldn’t have done it without you. Several of us from the birthing class are meeting regularly with our babies and we support each other and share baby care tips. We can’t thank you enough. Robyn is doing well and is such a joy in our lives.” - The Kwaits (class participant, doula client)
“Dear Erika,
With Sarah asleep in my arms, I finally have an opportunity to write you in thanks for all your help and support during her landing. I will never forget the feeling of those HOT towels on my back or the sound of your encouraging, non-bossy voice during labor. Jeff has said that it seemed like I “went” somewhere during Sarah’s birth - and I really feel that I had such good, solid care and support that it allowed me to retreat a bit and draw on reserves of strength I really didn’t know I had. I still can’t believe I had an unmedicated delivery! Thank you so much for being part of the team, for your knowledge and empathy, for guarding our privacy, and for being an important part of the best day of my life. Many thanks” - Kate Ffollett (doula client)
“Dear Erika,
Thanks you so much for the incredible job you did with our birthing class. We both always looked forward to Monday nights and the discussions allowed us to discover and deal with what each of us had always assumed about birth. I don’t think our birth would have been as amazing or empowering without the work we did with your help.” Love, Heather, Bill and now Isabel Veitch (class participant)
“Dear Erika,
A belated thank-you for your help and participation in Will’s birth. We are so grateful. Our birth experience was so much more positive this time - thanks in large part to you. And we continue to be blessed with a beautiful baby (and three-year-old, of course!). Thank you, again!” - Amy, Joe, Jack and Will